HOW TO GET OVER A CRUSH IN 1 DAY
"I think it's safe to say that I have a crush. Well, more like sad to say that I have a crush seeing that it has lastest for, come august, and entire year. The title of this blog series is becoming more evident as the days goes by. People always say be careful what you name something. Ok, people don't always say that but I know I do and that is real enough for me."
he is beautiful. everytime i see him i revert to being in middle school. he is the sweetest, most intelligent and funniest person to chill with and everyday i ask myself what could he possibly gain from me. and i reply, "the same thing he gives you." he's what i like to call the everyman. he literally knows everything about music. he is a walking encylopedia. he just started writing poetry and everytime he writes i new piece i get the chance to hear it before anyone else. his talents exceed anything you could ever imagine. but while im gushing about this person i know he isnt gushing for me.
i made my crush known the day of my birthday of last year. lesson number 1: never text message someone that you like them. it makes you appear to be a huge DORK!
he didnt reply. so all night i stayed up thinking about how much i was such a dumbass for doing that. i was too scared to tell him face to face because i was afraid of how much the repulsed expression on his face could do to a person of my insecure stature. ive told boys that ive liked them plenty of times. and everytime they just stood there looking. not saying anything. i swear you could hear my heart fall to the bottom of my feet. so i figured this would be the safe route. boy was i wrong.
the next night we talked about it. he began to tell me how he wasnt looking to be in a relationship right now. so i stopped him in mid sentence before the rest of my face decided to slip off. i just thought that maybe this time i would get it right. i told him that it was alright and he didnt have to finish. we ended up talking about music till 5 in the morning.
a few days ago i realized that ive had the same crush on one person for an entire year. im pathetic. whats the point of pinning away for someone if they pine away for you too. sitting at home hoping to see if he will call me is not very productive. i feel like such an idiot. he makes me what to better myself. i have taken up the goal of trying to stop cursing. he makes me want to have a clean mouth. which is weird seeing that he curses but i have a tendency to overuse my words. i want to offer my best self to him. even after hes seen my worst. and hope that he would want it after its been cleaned and polished. i so need to get over him. anyone have tips on how to get over a crush?
i made my crush known the day of my birthday of last year. lesson number 1: never text message someone that you like them. it makes you appear to be a huge DORK!
he didnt reply. so all night i stayed up thinking about how much i was such a dumbass for doing that. i was too scared to tell him face to face because i was afraid of how much the repulsed expression on his face could do to a person of my insecure stature. ive told boys that ive liked them plenty of times. and everytime they just stood there looking. not saying anything. i swear you could hear my heart fall to the bottom of my feet. so i figured this would be the safe route. boy was i wrong.
the next night we talked about it. he began to tell me how he wasnt looking to be in a relationship right now. so i stopped him in mid sentence before the rest of my face decided to slip off. i just thought that maybe this time i would get it right. i told him that it was alright and he didnt have to finish. we ended up talking about music till 5 in the morning.
a few days ago i realized that ive had the same crush on one person for an entire year. im pathetic. whats the point of pinning away for someone if they pine away for you too. sitting at home hoping to see if he will call me is not very productive. i feel like such an idiot. he makes me what to better myself. i have taken up the goal of trying to stop cursing. he makes me want to have a clean mouth. which is weird seeing that he curses but i have a tendency to overuse my words. i want to offer my best self to him. even after hes seen my worst. and hope that he would want it after its been cleaned and polished. i so need to get over him. anyone have tips on how to get over a crush?
I am happy for all of the wonderful comments to this note. I must say that I was able to get over this person. It took him to be a true ass for me to wake up to reality but I am glad it is out of my system. There isn't anything really profound to say on this matter other than that it is important to get over these horrible infuations. Please find yourself. Love yourself. I know this is hard to get. I am still struggling. But we must regain our true self. Peace to you all. (Dec. 30 08)
posted by mamaafreeka at 5:44 AM
80 Comments:
I feel you pain. Nearly a decade ago I developed a crush on a woman I knew in college, and I said nothing about it at the time. After I left college I didn't see her again for about seven years, but then by chance we bumped into each other and I found myself falling in love all over again. A few months ago I finally told her how I felt. She didn't look repulsed when I opened my heart to her, but she still wasn't interested. I still love her, but I have to face up to the fact that the one I wanted more than any one else will never feel the same way about me as I do about her. Its difficult, but life is like that sometimes. Time is usually the great healer, but I suggest you keep busy, keep looking for the right guy. You sound like a very loving, caring and sensitive person, and sooner or later you will find a person who will love you for who you are. Although it may seem bleak at times, life often has a way of figuring itself out - especially when you least expect it.
wow THAT HELPS. not. you guys are retards!! how is this supposed to help me get over my NINE YEAR crush?!?!?! dude guys get help from this website: sheena's little fragments of time
seriously it helped me a BUUUUNCH
especially #4
do it!
it helped me
HEARTS HEARTS HEARTS
well i actually had a crush on a man that was ten years older than me i ended up getting with him and me being stupid had sex with him and messed it up for myself probably I've been thinking about him every since that night he hasn't returned any of my phone calls after that night so i just left him alone but i still think about him every day for about 4 months now wondering what it would be like if we would had ended up together. however i want to call him so bad since it has been a long time since i talked to him i wont because i don't want him to no that i still like him like that anymore even though i do, i mean i may be sprung right now but i wont ever stalk a man because that just ain't my style,because i look to good for that for one but do i hope some day that we will end up together but if not ill just have to move on with my life, but only time can tell. but my advise to any unrequited lovers out there i mean the best way to get over a unrequited love to me is to get with a another person you no keep yourself occupied getting your mind off the person that person u have that unrequited love for, and you never no you might come across someone that you'll have the same unrequited love for and they might the same for you. i mean there's always someone for everyone don't let anyone tell you thats not true because it is. i must admit I've never thought about any one this much but i hope and pray that this don't last that long because i has been hard trying to get over him. but ill eventually get over him one way or another.
I'm in the same boat but I'm close to 60, feeling like a teenager. Infatuated with a man I met in a 12 step program, he was new so I backed off after he came on to me, I didn't want to interfere with him being in early recovery. Since then it's been mixed signals, maybe he's met someone else, but I think about him so much of the time, have to keep myself busy with work and other responsibilities, but sooner or later I am fantasizing about him. I guess this too shall pass eventually, just have to accept it. I do pray for him and for his wellbeing, that God blesses him with whatever/whoever makes him happy, and that means accepting that it might not be me that makes him happy. And I have to remember that God has a plan for me, even though I don't have the faintest idea what it is. Keep the faith!
Agh! Why is it so hard to get over a crush who doesn't like you in return? I met this guy a year ago in Europe, we hooked up and hung out when we got back to the states and then didn't speak for 10 months. I thought I was over him but instead decided to email him, saying that I really wanted to see him again, and I did. I flew down to his condo to stay with him for about a week, had an amazing time, did everything together that I loved to do and felt like he was a perfect fit for me. I went home and haven't heard from him since!
It's really time for me to get over this but I can't stop thinking that he'll finallly call or email or text when really, he's just not interested. I'm so much stronger than this. Help me out!!!
I understand completely I've been obsessed with a guy since the begginning (I think i spelled that wrong.) of the school year. Which isn't that long. I've done this sooooooo many times before, fallen for a guy I can't have. I should know by now. I thought that I actually had a chance with him though. hah. He is so incredibly hot and a year older than me which is perfect for a high-schooler like me. He seemed so nice and shy and he was. He recently broke up with his gf of like 4 weeks and 2 of the 4 he slept with her which scares me, I'm not like that. He told me she talked him into it but something about his story isn't believeable. Despite what he's done I wanna help him and save him from what he's doing I really want to hold him when no one else does. Most of my friends don't like him and tell me I can do better but something about him was different. I've never had a 'bf' but I've had unusually close friends... hehe. He was th first guy that I liked first. All of the girls that have talked to me tell me that he's a player and I don't wanna believe them but if that's the truth I don't have much of a choice.I really really care for him and want the beset for him... I'm not the best but I only want him to be careful and I want to be his one and only. I understand completely and wish I could help you. God knows I need help.
I've had a crush on a guy for about two and a half years now. He was in my high school and we had been in the same music class since sixth grade. I didn't start liking him till Junior year, when sometimes I'd see him look at me or if we talked about stuff he'd occasionally tease me a little, but I didn't start doing anything till my Senior year. I asked him to the Homecoming Dance and he rejected me by saying he didn't go to dances. Though he apologized the next day, I still felt heartbroken and he's never treated me the same since. On New Years Day, I just sent him a friendly message to tell him "Happy New Year" and he didn't even respond back to it. I really need help getting over him!
As for those who need advice on getting over someone, well all I can really say is, don't ever despair and believe in the hope that there's love. It's really hard to believe (I should know as I'm having a hard time too), but I had two crushes before this crush and I managed to get over them.
i know what you mean...and i'm only 18 yet i have been trying to get over the same guy for three years. it makes me so angry because sometimes i just feel like he stole my ability to trust anyone else and to open up like i used to. i feel so naive and stupid....he just toyed with my emotions, took advantage of my feelings, lied and told me what i wanted to hear but in the end i was left completely in the dark. sometmes i really just sit back and really analyse the situation and i still don't understand how it turned out that way. Time may heal but it can never erase your memory or reverse events of the past.
i totally know how u all feel. I've have a huge crush on the same guy for about 4 years now. When we first met i thought He was perfect for me, And when our mutally friend told me he had a crush on me i thought i was going to die. He was the shy type so i never heard it from him. We've encountered each other couple of times during these past four years. When i started college i promised myself i was going to get over him and i was. But then during break, I saw him again and all those feelings came rushing back. He flirted. and I felt something. It kills me that everytime i get to see him i feel something soo strong inside of me. I don't know if he still feels the same attraction he felt 4 years ago. He doesn't know that i found out he liked me. I mean, i heard he had a couple of girlfriends and hookups. I dont know him too well, but i wish i had the opportunity to be with him. Everytime i saw him i would analyze our encounters. He gives mixed signals. I don't know what to think. Men are so complicated. My friendship or whatever with this crush is blurry to me. He even drunk dialed me once and wanted to talk to me, which totaly threw me off. Then when i saw him, it was like nothing happened. I dunt know but time will help me get over him again..i hope.
Heartening to see so many different responses. Getting out of a messy relationship I never ever thought I would feel for anyone..I was so content and relieved to be alone again..free and happy to do all I like to do.
Its always in these moments when life is all set and perfect that you go ahead and make a fool of yourself. I have too...and though I know there is no future, he doesn't want to take it further, and that this is only interrupting my life and work...I am happy to daydream, drawing mean out of every song, associating words to suit my interpretations.
I think the only solution to this is to give it time...and accept that if this person really wanted to be with me he would make some effort. So time it is I guess...infatuation like the common cold must run its course.
I know how you feel. In Oct. I met a 29 yr old, (I'm in my 30s) pretty, hispanic girl (from Ecuador) in church who is so sweet and friendly. She was never with, or mentioned, a guy so after a couple weeks of talking to her quite a bit, in Nov. I took a shot and asked her on a lunch date. She said yes but was "busy the next couple weeks" but things would then slow down. The next week when it came up she said she was still interested and hadn't changed her mind. She assured me "we'd do something before year's end and she'd let me know when" (with a smile)- of course it never happened. It turned out she was a recent college grad and was quite active at school, knew a ton of people, and was becoming super active in her newly-found church. She was so "awkward" and reserved, I had no idea she was so active and outgoing. (Not that it matters- just a surprise. I'm rather introverted.) In Jan (while visiting her in the church nursery where she volunteers) when I asked about her New Year's activities, she mentioned having gone to Milwaukee for a few days. I asked why she goes there and she said to visit friends and her BOYFRIEND lives there.
It's like, thanks a lot. I know you're super sweet and polite, but you could have somehow not led me on by being afraid to say "no" originally. I was, and still am, devastated. I liked her so much and can't get over it. She plans to move away in the fall to attend grad school. Hopefully "out of site" will lead to "out of mind".
Hey
I'm so in the same boat, there is this guy a School and he's perfect, he's an A* straight student, plays the guitar and was in a band, he's witty, funny, suprisingly romantic, and generally a nice person.
In Autumn I took the plunge for the first time, I made sure we were alone, gathered my courage and feeling sickeningly terrorified I told him about my crush on him,
It was the scariest thing I have ever done, he told my qoute ' Well obviously I don't-' then I cut him off before he could finish. As it turned out things weren't arkward, we chatted almost instantly afterwards, and as we meet everyday on the bus stop nothing changed.
It brought a high for awhile, I thought I was getting over him, but my friends, they're little comments like, ' you two have such chemistry !' etc soon made me realise that actually I was nowhere near getting over him.
And today, my friend when she and him shared a lesson, and I wasn't around, asked him what he thought of me and his answer was 'sorry', she asked him if I had ever told him my feelings and he repiled almost instantly, the memory obviously not gone from his mind, Now I guess i'm worried what he's thinking off me now ?
I don't know what's wrong with me, I mean I've got a mole in the middle of my forehead, which has caused numerous comments, and my hair, unless treated right in it's curly state isn't the smoothest around but does that make me undesirable ?
I'm funny, really quite sarcastic, I'm good with people, I don't know if there's anyone who can give advice or reasurrance I would be most grateful.
I hope this comment doesn't sound too pathetic !!!
I am so amazed at the number of responses I have gotten from this entry. Thank you to you all who shared your stories. I hope that you will get to a point in your life where the want is no longer there and can move on with your life. Peace to all
m.a.
Sorry folks. I 46 yr and getting over someone doesn't get any easier with age. Best thing to do is distract yourself and/or focus on other things plus get real as what the other person thinks about you. Props for taking the risk and devulging your feelings though. if you don't risk it, you will never know. I think there is a fine line there, as you don't want to creep them out. I mean if you work with them or have another relationship besides friend then you have to really be careful. Heck, most people know when someone else likes them. Why? They show it. Good luck people.
well getting over your crush is easy all you do is, be more flirtatious with other guys, that will keep u busy in the process of healin
Yeah, empathy all around here. I’ve had a crush on the same guy for going on two years now. He's a neighbor and, unfortunately, I see him only about every two to three months, just often enough to reignite the flame so to speak. Even though other guys have asked me out I still can't get him out of my head. Even, hell especially, when on the dates. He’s really freaking attractive and that really doesn't help, but what's almost worse is that he's kind and sensitive and respectful and mature and NOT INTERESTED. Yup, that last one is definitely his least attractive characteristic. The only thing that I can think of to help douse those pesky flames is absence. And not the absence makes that heart grow fonder kind, but rather the out of sight out of mind type. I really have got to stop seeing him.
i have to say this doesn't seem to me to be a how to blog as much as a yeah, me too, want to hear my story? blog. just saying. maybe a title change would be in order?
I need help myself.I understand that my crush is my way of focusing on fantasy Vs. my very lonely and sad marriage. I unfortunately have to see my crush once a month because he is my physician. He is married and I would never do anything inappropriate. In the fantasy world, I end my sad marriage, he ends his for another reason and we become sweethearts and i am finally in a loving relationship. In the real world, he probably thinks I am a pain in the ass and I will never let him know that I care about him ( he probably already knows.) It sucks being lonely and in this kind of pain. I pray that one day I will find the strength to end my very sad marriage and find true mutual love. I envy people who are in good strong relationships. I never imagined that at 45 I would be crushing over a very middle aged man like a little school girl. I need to give up that glimmer of hope that one day I will be with him because it will never happen.I guess J.Geils was right, love does stink!
i hv hd a crush on da sam3 guy K for about four yearx....i saw him at a audition for da school singin competition...he stood in a corn3r jammin wid his frnx on his guitar..dose dark features...dose eyes...i fell for him at once....
da next day i found out dat h3 wx a gud frnd of ma frndx sister..it wx only nervous glances....nuffing else i wx too cowardly 2 mak3 a move....he on the other hand was lyk a magnet ...n soo perfect ..A+ grades,long dark hair pls he wx a guitarist..sum ov ma frndx told me he liked me...n dat nyt i sang da loudest i hv ever sung in da bathroom...i couldnt stop dreamin abt him....if i eva caught hx eye i wud jst melt n turn 2 mush....buh den every1 told me dat he wx toO cool 4 me.....
2 yrx passed n v hd 2 mov3 away...n at
dat last day i discovered dat hix best frn wx.. into m3 not him..
cudnt do nything i jst quitely went away.....
da next 1 year wx hell 4 m3...pain i hd neva expepienced...wot hurt da most was dat he ddnt even noe he wx hurtin me soo much...he wx causin me soo much pain.....buh da hole nxt year i wrkd on me ...so dt iv v eva mt again i wud b worth him.....
surprisingly next yr v movd bak...buh i hd 2 chang3 ma skool nyhow i went 2 meet ma old teacherx..n frnx n ...dere he wx ..in frnt ov...lookin at m3...
h3 ddnt quit3 look lyk dat god-typ thing dat i hd bin imaginin hm as...buh i loved him....
n i wnted 2 shout out loud dat hey v r soo close yet y r v still so far....i cudnt spk again....so he ddnt no3....
lyf began again i gt ma eyes on a new lad...he was also interested ..buh den K crept in ma mind n i pushed da new lad away....soon after i brok3 wid my best frn....now i hv nothin...
k duznt no3 i luv him...n i cant tell him now because i hv heard dat hje ix not inteested in ma typ ov galz...h3 goes 4 wot i used 2 b 3 yrx ago...wot shud i dooo..????
i know how you feel.
he's 15, and i'm 12. He's with another girl. He's got straight A's, he sings, he's funny, he's cute and a really sweet guy.
I've known him since i was 7, he's my cousin's best friend, and i only meet him once a year, otherwise i just talk to him on MSN. Or over email. He flirts with me all the time.
I don't know if it's love, but i think it is. thinking about him makes me cry.
i can't say anything to him, even if he doesn't like me, i just want to get it out there, so i feel better, i just want closure.
yeah...buh atleast this guy flirts wid you....my crush has never ever even looked at me...he probably doesnt even know i exist.....
AND i M one of THE moST popular GALS here......ughhhhhhhhh
I completely understand. I have a crush on a guy with whom I seemingly have chemistry. But I am not forward and will probably never tell him. I think when you like someone or they like you, it is obvious. (It is obvious to others! Very!)
Why does having a crush have to be so hard? Gotta start looking for the bad things about him. I took the first step in the right direction today...I deleted the voicemails he sent me. For me this is a feat.
I know all too well what each of you's are going through!! i have had a crush on a guy named peter for about 4 years. i have a boyfriend right now of 2 years and even with my boyfriend, i still think about him. not as much, but i do. I love my boyfriend soo much, but there is still a part of me that wonders/wishes me and peter could be together. He never outwardly rejected me, but i guess not answering my e-mail is a rejection. But i never told him that i liked him in the e-mail, i just asked how he was doing and he never replied. you can always think of excuses like, he never got it or i never got his response. but u have to realize the truth. he did get my e-mail, he just wasnt bothered enough to respond. i have tried numerous ways to try and get over him like pretending that i didnt like him by giving him evil looks or just ignoring him or telling everyone i didnt. i knew i was better than that, falling for a guy i could never have. but soemthing about him just stuck with me. My plan is to find my rejection. i will tell him that i like him and i will wait for his response, that he doesnt like me back. and then i can love my boyfriend will ALL my heart, not just a part of it. he has taken away too much of my life, and this crush is gonna stop once and for all so i can live my life with a free mind.
ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE HAVING A HARD TIME DEALING WITH A CRUSH:
1. Acknowledge you have a crush
2. Do not let the crush drag on for weeks, months, even years. Tell people you have a crush and who it is, after a while tell the person. If he/she agrees with you, than great. If not, why would you want a girl/guy who doesnt want you?
3. You are better than that!!! YOU ARE AN INDEPENDENT, BEAUTIFUL PERSON!! CRY FOR A FEW DAYS AND SAY ALRIGHT THERE IS A BETTER GUY/GIRL OUT THERE FOR ME!!
4. Do not overthink. Concentrate on other things.
OVERALL, THAT PERSON WHO REJECTED YOU, IS MISSING OUT!!!! YOUR HEART BELONGS TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WANTS IT! A HEART IS NOT A PLAY THING, GIVE IT TO SOMEONE WHO DESERVES IT! BE PICKY ABOUT WHO YOU GIVE IT TO. LIFE IS ABOUT ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS, BEING HAPPY, AND BECOMING THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE!! THIS PERSON YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON, WON"T MAKE YOU HAPPY IF THEY REJECTED YOU. A MAN/WOMEN WHO WANTS YOU'RE HEART AND SOUL IS THE ONE FOR YOU! THE ONE WHO WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY!! LASTLY, THESE LAST WORDS ARE THE TRUTH, NO JOKING INVOLVED. EACH ONE OF YOU: THIS TOO SHALL PASS.GOD IS WITH YOU. YOUR LIFE IS LIKE A DIAMOND. YOU WILL FIND THE ONE. WHO EVER SAID LIFE WAS EASY? YOU WILL FIND HIM OR HER AND HAVE A FAMILY, GET MARRIED AND LIVE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE. THE ONE WHO REJECTED YOU, IS NOT YOU'RE ONE. YOU'RE OKAY.
Reading all your posts helps alot.. Knowing that i'm not the only one with an impossible crush. I fell for my best friends girlfriend and tried so hard not to. But since we really don't choose who we fall for i couldn't help myself.. They broke up ages ago (due to my friend treating her like sh*t) but i couldn't tell her how i felt since it was my best friends gf and his first gf ever. this is over a year ago and i still feel like a moron for having a crush on her. i would go out and find a new girl but i keep comparing girls to her and no one can get even close.. anyone know a good cheap place for a lobotomy? feels like it's my only option at this point.. 'Richie Sambora - Father Time' anyone?
You should give yourself credit as you have an awesome sense of humor! This goes out to the person who wrote about a lobotomy being their only alternative. I really know what you mean. I also can relate to feeling "stupid" or out of control for having a crush for so long. We have to stop beating ourselves up on top of it all. I makes me feel better to know that you have all had the problem too..and I certainly don't think that any of you are stupid. You sound like, caring, thoughtful and articulate people to me.
I've been infatuated with a man 10 years older than me for a year now. He admitted to me about 6 months ago that he was interested as well...But I'm with an amazing man that I love...I really fell for this other person despite myself...I guess the routine of my 14 year relationship took its toll. So now I feel that, as I love my boyfriend and want to stay with him...I have to get over this other guy.
It's easier said than done though...I can't even hear his name without feeling a jolt..and I've beat myself about this too...I feel that I too need the aforementioned lobotomy...Thank you all for your posts...I copied and pasted some quotes that inspired me and I hope with all my heart to get past this. I want to enjoy my life again and not to be living in some virtual existence with a man I'm not even with!
I wish you all peace with this and happiness in your lives!
I met a man on business travel and in the span of about 7 hours I fell in love and can't get him out of my mind. I sent him a little note (snail mail) after the conference and told him he's brilliant and kind and thanking him for his time. That's all I plan to do towards keeping this open b/c we're both married. But I'm such a wreck! It's been a week and he's all I can think about! I wish I hadn't kissed him, I wish I hadn't fallen in love with him. I feel so different now and so sorry and so sad. I do feel rejected because he's not chasing me and calling me, you know, and I could have saved myself such heartache and the embarrassment of the aftermath if only I would have kept my maidenhead about me. Take it from me: cheating kills. I'll take that lobotomy now...
I feel for you.
Awhile ago I realized I had, had a crush on a friend for about a year. I started noticing that he often stared at me in our classes, and he'd smile and wave if I caught his eye. I decided I'd finally let him know before summer started and I did, but he said he only liked me as a friend. I completely understood and figured we could still be friends- slightly awkward ones. All this summer he never said anything to me. I'm not sure were we go from there, friends or no friends. I've gotten over him, but the fear that he'll bring it up every chance he gets scares me. How do I handle that?
I've had a crush on a guy for over a year. I think if I avoided seeing him - which is pretty easily done - I could get over him but its just too tempting and I end up torturing myself again. I'm ever hopeful and I enjoy indulging in the fantasy. I know my idea of him isn't real and I'm all too willing to interpret every little encounter with him in a positive light. On the other hand I'm quite good at not showing that I like him so even if he does like me I haven't given him too many signals. I admire all you people who've had the courage to state your feelings and then find out if the person likes you. Why is it when you know exactly what you're doing its still hard to do any differently. I think I'm pretty lazy and I prefer to indulge in this fantasy instead of getting on with my life. Pretty sad! I hope I can do whats best for me soon.
OMG! i just found this site suited for me. I also have this crush for almost 4 yrs. we've been friends for almost 5 years.This is the story. We're classmates since 1st and 2nd yr highschool and then when we're 2nd yr HS, my friends told me that this guy has crush on me? i was shocked! After it, i didn't noticed that i have a crush on him also, i tried to ignore it because i heard rumors that says he's just using me because his crush is really my bestfriend. I cried with i heard that but that's life. I tried to get over him but i can't. We're really close, we texted each other and we're like bestfriends and after the school year ends, he gave me a letter.. it says there that he feels sorry for everything he did to me and hus planning out to court me and he didn't court me because he was sure that i'll reject him, that's the main point in the letter. so i just knew that his feelings is really true and he really has a crush to me, which he doesn't know that i had a crush n him too. I tried to forget him. For almost 2 yrs, we haven't see each other because he transferred from other school. BUT now, we're college. We're in the same school and we both have the same course but we're not blockmates. I was really shocked because i didn't expected that we'll really see each other there.. and my feelings are coming back again.. He always do a favor to me which i don't like because i think he just took advantage with my feelings. it sucks! pls help me to get over him! pls do. thanks!
this is the situation i'm in now and I think i just have to toughen up and delete his texts (replying to mine because he doesn't text me first), and his voicemail (he did call me once outta the blue and i still keep it 4 weeks later nerd that i am) and maybe even the few pics we have together...i met him at a work function, he had flown in from another city to attend, we connected, were attracted and yes we freaked out in his hotel room the whole week he was here....but he said he doesn't want a long-distance relationship but for us to be frinds and see where that leads....and now i am obsessed with him since he left, googling him, reading his bio online, and even booked a ticket next week to spend 4 days with him (he said it would be fine and he's looking forward to it, etc.) but i know that i like him a HELLUVA lot more then he likes me.....
i am hoping that i will see him, spend a lot of time with him and promptly see his faults that i did not see while he was in my city... and get him out of my system.
but i know the converse can happen, that i will fall even deeper in over my head.
the only way to get over a crush as i see it is this:
BE COOL!!! Develop an ego, a GIGANTIC ego, hyper inflate your ego and find your crush's faults and MAGNIFY them, pick them apart, I mean, this dude has back acne, that's kind of gross. plus he is in his late twenties and doesn't own a house yet...plus his teeth aren't perfect like mine. and i have way more friends on facebook...as superficial as this stuff sounds, i am thinking its the only way i will get over the fact that he has an amazing sense of humour, is well-educated, has a great job and is sexy as HELL, tall ,dark and handsome....
okay okay
back to the ego....
i need to inflate mine and downplay his....
anyways these are the thoughts that ramble through my brain where my crush is concerned...hopefully it helped someone but it probably didn't!!! i am just as confused as lovesick as you all are...
time would be a great cure-all if it just didn't take so damm long to work!!
I've had a huge crush on a girl in class. Its been 3 months since college started and I met her. She is the most beautiful, friendly and interesting girl I've ever met. At first I became good friends with her. She needed my help in coursework often, and I was always more than willing to provide it. She gradually stopped asking for my help however, but I continued to keep helping her. I worried more about her and her grades than she did. When she couldn't do without my help, she used to come to me, and I would help her. After that, she would hardly talk to me when she didn't need me, nor would she ever acknowledge or appreciate anything I did for her. I got really frustrated and confused. Finally, over the phone, told her that I've started liking her a lot, which is why I've been obsessively caring for her, and would like to know how she felt. She replied that she was already committed. My whole world crashed. I told her that that was fine, and there wasn't anything I or she could do about it. This happened a couple of weeks back. The next night I got drunk and sent her messages describing the depth of my feelings for her. I asked her why she didn't tell me she was unavailable earlier, and couldn't she make it that I was crazy about her. I also told her how I felt a bit used. I don't know why but she's refused to talk to me since. I've even apologized, though I don't think I ever said anything nasty to her. I thought being friends with her would make me feel better, because I really miss her company. Maybe its better that I stay away from her, but I just can't seem to get over the deep, almost physical pain that I feel. I can't seem to get her out of my head, and am unable to focus on other important things in my life. I just hope things get back to normal. I can't really avoid her, as she's in my class for two more years. Whenever I see her with other guys, the pain becomes all the more unbearable.
I understand completely. I'm in the same predicament you were in, and it's been driving me close to insane.
I'm a freshman in high school and the guy I like is a sophomore, but that's something I can live with. After all, I've been telling myself, lots of people date people within a few years' age range. But anyway, this is the first time I've felt so, so strongly about a person. My attraction to him makes me tongue-tied just thinking about him; he keeps me up at night and throughout my day, the most obscure things remind me of him. All of my friends (and some people who aren't even that close to me) say that he and I would make the perfect couple, and I believe them. We have everything in common and he is the most beautiful person in the world to me. I would swim across an ocean for his love (however cliche that may sound).
But I've been noticing some things, and, well... I think he and a sophomore girl might be developing a relationship. I don't know this for a fact, and not knowing just makes the situation so much worse for me. Because if I knew that they had something, maybe I'd give up. But right now, I'll do anything to be with him.
I just feel so bad liking him. He is the nicest and most polite guy I have ever had the pleasure to know. Not even having known me in person, he talked to me on Facebook the night before high school and told me everything I needed to know about it because he didn't want me to be nervous. That first day, I wasn't anxious at all. And still, although it turns out he's in my Algebra class, we haven't talked besides saying "hi" in the halls. We're both really shy.
And I don't know if he likes me or this other girl. He's always looking at me, and I always feel his gaze. He's extremely nice to me, and...
It's all so confusing. I don't want to ask because I fear imminent rejection.
I know this is an old thing, but... gosh. This is the story of my life. :\ I got my first crush in first grade and now, 16 years later, things are still the same. :(
It is hard no matter what your age. I had crushes when I was younger and it hurt when nothing happened. Just recently, I had a crush on a guy at work. He would come into my area to drop off paperwork to my boss. I noticed him looking at me a few times and he would go out of his way to walk past my desk. And I noticed when he was talking to the women that sit near me he was looking at me the whole time. It gave me a bad case of butterflies. So I thought maybe he was interested in me. Well, it was not to be. Today was his last day as he was retiring. He came through my area thanking everyone for everything. I thought I was going to die. Once again I was wrong. Trust me, it doesn't hurt any less when you are older than when you are young. Maybe God is just telling me there isn't any man out there for me and the sooner I accept it the better.
I know how you feel. i've had a crush on the same guy for 2 years! i am trying to get over him and my friends are helping me but also my friend, sammie talks to him a lot and she says he might like me. he might like me but still he likes this other girl. I think about him, dream about him and i see his name everywhere, literally. i love him but i must get over him. i wish i could help but i am in the same situation you are. i don't know if you are religious or not but if you are then the only advice i can give you is to pray. that's what i've been doing. Good luck.
Some of the above situations are so like mine.
I cant believe im writing in a blog thingy, never did it before, but here goes...
I've fallen for a guy in my physics class in college, and he's gorgeous! he's funny and kind, in a band (thats not the main reason like him tho!!) he's a genuine kind of guy and he's SINGLE. But there isnt a hope in hell of him liking me. I'm really shy and the one time i was talking to him i probably came across as a bit weird. I just want to get over him as quickly as possible without having to tell him my feelings..that would be too humiliating, id probably have to leave the country id be soo embarrassed. Cos i know hed reject me, its not like im ugly or anything but iv never had a boyfriend before, iv never even kissed a guy and im 19, and i just dont know how to talk to guys.. why im doing physics i dont know when its mostly guys who do it!
any ideas???
I'm going through the same thing right now, 10 months and counting. I've spoken to this guy only a couple of times and I've fallen for him. He was in my college and graduated a few months back, so he's moved away, got a job etc. I know that I've idealized him but i cant help myself. He really is sweet, kind and such a genuinely nice guy. But i'm so sure that he doesn't have the same feelings for me. He's probably going to be around this weekend, which means that I'm gonna meet him/ bump into him. I'm really dreading that. I am planning to avoid him but i dont think that'll be cool. And maybe i do want to see him, there's still this hope that he'll have feelings for me. maybe, if i meet him I'll realize that I'm probably over him. I've had crushes in the past but they've never lasted this long. it is hampering my work. With past experience, its usually something about that person that i dont like that helps me get over a crush. But somehow for this guy i really dont want to find that reason. Man, I really need help!
Ok i know this is supposed to be a how-to-get-over blog post, so I'll surely post a solution when i find one. Let's just see how this weekend goes.
I just stumbled across this this morning and read alot of the entries and It made me feel so much better knowing that im not alone.
I know this guy for about a year now. We met online and became friends as we related on some of our ideals.
At first i just thought of him as a friend but then shortly after knowing him found myself completely attracted to him. I was always thinking about him. Things were always reminding me of him.
When wed hang out and watch movies id so want him to scoot closer and make an attempt to kiss me or hold me or touch me, hell even some dirty thoughts went through my mind.
Well getting with the facts. He said he was only looking for friends. But in my mind i thought ok maybe he'll come around eventually and something might happen. As things he would say to me crossed a line. For example I had told him about a date I had. And he said that I should not show his pic to my future date as he might get jealous. Im like what do you mean?? hes like well face it no one will be as good for you as I am and no one ever will be.
That just floored me. I stopped talking to him for a few months after that as im like ok i need to get over him that and his comment really messed with my head alot.
We started talking again and I had mentioned that hurt me. He had apologized and claimed it to be nothing more than kidding around. Jumping back a bit.. before he made that comment i verbally expressed my feelings to him a few months prior which he didnt say anything about. Hes made sexual innuendos towards me.
He tells me and others that he wants to remain celibate for now and hes not seeking relationships. However I ran across him on a singles site of which hes posting body pics of himself. So im like ok its just me then I must repulse him in some way.. Needless to say once I found the personals add I was angry and told him off. About some the flirting/jokes he does and how it messes with me and hurts me. He didnt respond well to that basically told me to F-off. He basically denied ever saying or doing anything to me that would lead me on. I disagree but oh well.
We talked it out and I guess we are friends now. I rarely ever see him so I think that will be good. I think time will help me forget the feelings i have for him and move on. Just SOOO tired of being rejected. and I dont know why as im very attractive and always told so by lots of people just not the right ones. Im trying to keep my faith that I will meet a guy that Im attracted to and that I have feelings for and that he will also feel the same way about me.
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Ive had 2 crushes in the past 2 years. Of which they have been VERY consuming and like a fool I let it rule my life.
Ive done ALOT of internet searching to find others who I can relate to on this subject and was suprised there were alot of people going through the same thing I was. Below Ive made some steps to follow for people going through the same thing I am. And this does help trust me.
#1 You need to spend time away from your crush- Avoid Him/her at all costs if you can. I know that sounds mean or anti-social. Ask yourself this question "Which is easier to deal with being thought of as an antisocial person? or Having your heart crushed daily by being around the person you desire but cant have?" personally Id go with option 1. My first crush was a guy I worked with and had to see him daily. Once he found out how i felt he distanced himself from me and it made me feel even worse not to mention it impuned my work. My 2nd crush was a friend of which I dont see much and dont plan to until I get over him.
#2 Make a pro/cons list of the person you are crushing on. Base the list from facts you know about them like personality traits, likes dislikes etc..
You want the person.. You want to be their lover.. you want to be in a loving relationship with them.
Well make a list for yourself listing qualities YOU want a person to have not what your crush has. List what you expect from a romance. Then make a list of pro/cons about your Crush. Then compare your expectations list to your crushes pro cons list and see if they match up. You might be surprised they dont. As it is 100% fact that you build up your crush so much in your head that they are almost god like status and completely infallible and they have immense power over you, basically having you fall over yourself to get to them. Putting their needs before yours. I think once you see the proof on paper you'll find that they are just not right for you.
#3 Keep your emotions in check but dont stash them away either. All though this step is the HARDEST because this step is what got you in trouble in the first place.
Among my searches one thing ive heard is to not hate the person or be angry at them for rejecting you.You know what? thats complete BS!! Yes you can be angry at them for passing up a catch like yourself. Yes you can hate them for making you feel worthless or undesirable as thats just not true, You are desireable and you are a catch. But dont be so angry or hate them so much where you will go out of your way to do harm to them or wish them harm or that matter cause yourself to be more consumed by them.. Be realistic, be able to indentify with your feelings and work through them whatever they may be: Hate, love, sadness. All very powerful emotions. Alot of people say "I still want to be friends with them" when the fact being is they cant handle it. People only say that because its the right /nice thing to say or do.If you can handle being friends with your crush and seeing them with someone else than more power to you. In my crushes I found that hating the person is very healthy and normal. It helps me ditch the warm fuzzies I have for my crush and helps me move on. Heck sometimes I pretend im talking to them and completely rip them a new one. Believe me it does help. But do this when you are alone and away from people. You dont want other people to think you are crazy. Bottom line emotions are emotions. They are untamed, can be consuming and are an element we all possess as human beings, its what makes us human. So you are never wrong in how YOU feel dont let anyone tell you otherwise or make you feel bad for how you feel.
#4 Confide about your feelings to a VERY trusted friend. When I say this I mean a friend youd consider like a brother or sister. Get their feedback from the situation. Hearing feedback from others can sometimes alter your viewpoint and help you see things you couldnt see before. I cannot tell you how many times my friends have pointed out to me that my crush is just not right for me, that I deserve better or our interests clash as mentioned in step 2. Although it hurts to hear because you have your sights set on that one guy/gal, but sometimes we need a nice friendly dose of reality from ones who care about us. Keep in mind Crushes and romances come and go but true friends and family are eternal. So before you despair count your blessings to have those special people in your life. Keep faith that you WILL meet that one person you are meant to be with.
#5 Lastly try not to overthink on the person or the rejection. Ive been through this ALOT in the past 2 years. Just when I think I got the last of the nasty left over emotions scattered about by my crush.. the paint peels and oops out pops that nasty emotion that makes me feel like crap. I then find myself thinking negative thoughts about myself or beating myself up. Lately Ive found the best way to get past these feelings is to just verbally tell yourself to shut up or to let it go. Then literally break out into a song. I know that sounds crazy but a recent article ive read about inner happiness stated that if you are a person who has to complain constantly about one little thing that bothers you that doing that magically opens a floodgate of negative emotions. Think of a snowball rolling down hill,small at first but then as it rolls it gets bigger and bigger. So if someone yelled at you or said something mean you will later find yourself ranting and complaining about it and then soon you find yourself ranting about something completely different that has nothing to do with the initial thing that upset you which in turn makes you feel like crap overall. When you find yourself doing this literally stop yourself and start singing your fav song, recite a poem.. do ANYTHING to get your mind off of whats bothering you. Also in the article they said that the initial onslaugts of anger in the brain only lasts for like 1.5 mins. So if you can distract your mind for 1.5 minutes you will be better off and then forget what made you angry.
I hope that my experiences and suggestions above help the many who suffer from unrequited love.
Hang in there you will be ok..
This weekend was a bit of mixed emotions but ended with me feeling terrible upset.
@ the person above me
Thanks a ton!
you're suggestion make a lot of sense... and it just might work. :D
this guy is a mini bi polar or something! first he likes me for about a month, then it stops for about 3 weeks, he gets a girlfriend, and then they break up and a week later he likes me again for a week and then he gets over it... just like that... i've turned down so many ppl down for him. he has caused so much pain... but the thing is ...if i cant have him, i dont want anyone else...he's also terribly self absorbed.... my friends say i could do so much better, since hes not a good looking person, but i like him SO MUCH!! i wish i had never ever met him, i just want him to get out of my life so i can get over him,...but then again i wouldnt be able to stand it if he wasnt (in my life)
you are lucky. you might think im crazy to say that but its true. at least you have a crush on someone nice, sweet and intellegent.ive had a crush on the meanest guy you can possibly know. he wasnt like that to me until some one told him how i felt. he's from church o he told evryone from church that i liked him. he gave and still gives me mean faces. ive had a crush on him for 4 or 3 years. i hate him but he's going to pay for what he did.
I just want to say to all the bloggers out there…you will get over it! Some of you have been holding onto your crushes for years and have only hurt yourself in the process. Trust me I’m not preaching, but I am someone who is in the same boat (kinda) although my crush and I actually hooked up. I still am very into this guy, but I can’t let my feelings overrule my common sense anymore. You wanna know the crazy thing? I don’t hate him, I’m not even mad at him, he has his reasons for not being into me, just as I had my reasons for not liking someone who liked me; just like you had your reasons for not liking someone who liked you.
Some of you out there sound like great catches and if you open your eyes wide enough to see that, trust me you’d wonder why you’ve been crushing on someone who doesn’t appreciate all your wonderfulness…why waste your time on someone who doesn’t even notice you?! It’s def a process I’m not claiming that it’s easy I still slip into fantasy land and think about him (naked, lol), but I’ve placed those thoughts where they belong…in fantasy land!
Something that helped me (although it’s been hard) if he calls I don’t answer, if he sends a text, I don’t respond (even if he is saying nice things I wanna hear) If I see him I keep it to a brief hello and remark how busy I am and keep it moving. Time, distance, a good dose of self-esteem, and loving/patient friends does the trick every time :-) Good luck guys and hang in there…
I have a crush on a guy I've become friends with over the internet. He's half a world away. I'm a huge dork. We chat practically daily for hours on end about everything. And I know if I want to stop crushing, I should stop chatting but damn it, I can't. This has been going on for 4 months now and I'm ready to be over the crush but I can't seem to stop thinking about him. I mean how is it I'm crushing on someone who doesn't exist in my real world? I guess I'm gonna have to act like a big girl and stop talking to him. I don't want to fall for someone I can't be with and I can SO feel myself on the edge of falling. Talk about LOSER.
To everyone, perhaps the reason for a "crush" is BECAUSE that person is so unavailable, and BECAUSE that person manifests traits we admire, if he/she was available, we would not feel the same, All of us have someone in our lives who loves us and is available, and since we know them, we know their flaws, they are not half as appealing. The flaws of the unavailable ones are easier to overlook. To the one in the loveless marriage, its a stone cold scene if you are single, with no guarantees even to "hook up" much less get into any kind of relationship one would want to be in. To the young ones, it does not get better with age and "wisdom" I am a divorcee infatuated with someone half my age, who reminds my of my ex husband. I remember when I got someone this hot, and I remember bitterly regretting getting him, and it does not help one bit.
This is still the same anonymous as above, to the person who posted the original blog, I would say don't try to be friends, don't try to be sweet, realize that this person manifests traits that you admire, and and cultivate them in yourself and take all of the emotional energy and try to channel it and FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT with other guys
I tottaly understand this. I guess it's hard to let go at times because.. they do those small things ..that make you wonder what the hell the person is thinking... they say they only like you as a friend and then completely show a different side the next. It's really painful. Expecially when everytime they have a great achievement of some sort.. you feel somewhat jealous and proud at the same time for no reason at all.
I stumbled upon this site and I am shocked at how many people have had crushes that they can't get over. I thought I was the only one. Long story short, there was a guy I kinda dated in the beginning of college. We hung out a few times, but I was way too busy then and we kinda went our separate ways. I was told that he really liked me though and his actions showed it. Throughout the last couple of years, I haven't been able to get over him though. It's the oddest thing because despite developing new crushes and having new flings with different boys, he's the only boy I can't get out of my head. I've bumped into him a few times here and there throughout the last couple of years and he was in my class at one point. I don't know what to make of him. He is currently single and has been for a while from my knowledge. He's super good looking and I honestly can see myself marrying him. I know that's crazy to say but there is just some kind of crazy attraction that draws me to him. I decided to chat with him on an online social site a few weeks ago. I hadn't talked to him in months. We chatted for a long time and then he brought up how he would love to see me when I am back in town. A friend of mine bumped into him when I did get into town and she told me that he kept asking about me. However, the next day when our groups of friends hung out, he seemed nice/excited to see me yet also a bit standoffish. I didn't know what to make of it, and I still don't. I'm a very rational person and a part of me does believe that he still likes me. There are just too many clues that point in that direction. However, other clues point in the other direction as well. He is a shy guy but still, I don't know. I really hope that I see him again soon. In the meantime, it's hard for me to stop thinking/analyzing that night and what his true feelings for me are. Any advice?
I REALLY can relate to you. I've had 8 years of crushing on this guy. You can call me dramtic, but this is how it really was. We couldn't be togther because i was the "popular girl" and he was "under dog" boy. It's all stupid after i thought about it a week ago. I thought " I really DID love this boy, insanly, I almost thought about suicide, because he hurt me so much, but i thought i'm not going to waste my time when i could be doing something better, like talking to him. I havn't yet. But i do know that everything will be alright. Hey, everyone thinks "I wish i never meet this person", buy you did, which is really good cuz you could have never met them. So why can't you try to be positive and be friends with this person, trust me. It'll be worth it!
There are so many anonymous ones on here, this is the anonymous that talked about the crush on someone half my age, there is no point in trying to be friends, why? Like cats and dogs, sales and admin, republicans and democrats, the aims are different, if one if hoping for a romantic/ sexual reaction, and the other is just hoping "if they are hoping or have noticed anything" that the person with the crush does not let it get out of control, COMEON, there is no common ground it is already out of control, deal with it
True to form, this is the same anonymous that posted the above, when you can see yourself as either a joke or a fool if you look through the other person's eyes, THERE IS NO FRIENDSHIP, all of us have enough self respect to keep breathing, totally understand why I'm not your type, wish it was different, and I'm still going to try to manage my emotions, Yes we can all do that, emotions stem from thoughts which can be changed. FRIENDS??? I DON"T THINK SO, it's called false hope
i was/still am crushing on a boy i told him on facebook he was really cool with it at first but then i got the impression that he thought i was werid for liking him well any way i still like him but i dnt think were going 2 b together anytime soon
I really do know how you feel. This year has been the worst it has happended to me 3 times already...it's horrible. My senior year of high school i developed a crush on one of my friends i had known since 6th grade. A lot of things happened and he ended up hearing from a friend of mine...who also liked him and was very jealous of our friendship...that I was obsessed with him. He has yet to speak to me and it sitll hurts. Then I met this guy my freshman year of college. We never seemed to sleep so we would stay up and hang out all night. He knew everything about me and we became really good friends. Towards the end of the semester I decided to tell him I like him because he always said it was flattering to hear a girl likes him. It was horrible listening to him tell me he wants to go on a date and asking ME who he should go on a date with. So I told him...kind of. I told him that i liked someone and so forth and ended up telling him I chickened out when he asked who it was. Then i finally told him it was him. He ended up moving out because he couldn't afford it anymore...it was so horrible. We rarely talk now. Then this other friend...he was down there with me and the other guy a lot and i was always real comfortable with him as well. We weren't as close until this semester...that's when i realized i liked him. I felt bad because while i was pining over my friend who didn't like me...i could have been building something with my other friend. Well now I told him over IM and it was horrible. He lives in my dorm and we have all the same friends and we ended up not talking for one day. He showed up the next day to my room and everything was back to normal. It seems weird...me and him are closer it seems like even though he told me he likes me just as a friend. He tells me everything and I am there to help him. It makes it really hard to NOT like him. He is there and I am here...our friendship is really strong and it is so hard to get over him. He is an amazing guy and has little experience with relationships as do I. I just have to let time run it's course and be there for him like I always will be. I will probably never fully get over the last one...he is a great guy and all I can do is hope for the best for him. If him not wanting me and wanting me JUST as a friend makes him happy...than I guess that makes me happy...even though it does hurt.
I hear u guys!! I've had a crush on this guy for 7 YEARS!!! He is a friend of my family and I've known him all my life. We are practically family. He's 3 years older then me. As much as I'd like to call him a jerk- he's not. He's sweet, funny, cute, smart,... And when I'm around him- those warm, fluttery, happy feelings fill me up. Yes, he has flaws, but I know someday, he'll make someone really happy. I can't tell him how I feel because it'd be too awkward. Also- to complicate things worse- I think he likes my older sister. I'd never tell her because if they both like each other, who am I to stop them. I love my sister n I want her to be happy. I don't know if the guy likes me. Sometimes he looks at me in an intimate way, or he'll hug me tighter then usual. He also has done some sweet things for me but I don't know how to interpret them. I see him every few months, and I thought I was over him, but I don't think I am. These feelings are back again and I feel like
A weak fool. I keep analyzing every text, everything he says, and I go crazy wondering what he's thinking. He's a great guy, and we both have SO much in common!!! It's almost scary. It kills me to think That he may like my sister or that he might have a girlfriend. Distance helps.... But I still think about him. What am I supposed to do??? I'm not in a position in life where I can go meet other guys. I'm going off to college soon and I hope either this guy and I get together, or I move on and find a better guy! All I can say is, try and distract yourself with family, school, and friends... You'll move on when the the time is right... :( totally love sick....
I know how it feels to have a crush on someone, i had a crush on this guy who lives a few blocks away from where i stay(i used to see him and even greet him).In december i went back to my home town for holidays,and when i came back i find out that he had left for another town, i was devastated, however he came back in March and for a few weeks i didn't talk to him( i pretended to be angry @ him) We started talking again after i met him at the Bus stop this other day.We started seeing each everyday until i couldnt hide what/how i was feeling inside anymore. I asked him how he realy felt about me and he told me that he loved me( i only realised now that he told me what i needed to hear) I did a very stupid thing that i still regret even today, i asked him if we could go to his place so we can talk about the new developments of things between us. when we got there we did talk but ended up having sex..... after that i went home and i struggled to get through the day as i was thinking about him a lot. A few days ago he sat me down and told me that he didnt feel the same way about me/he didnt have enough love for me to can have a serious relationship with me as he has a girlfriend that he loves and cant live without. Its a sad situation and i feel stupid 4 allowing myself to fall for him and for sleeping with him. I am planning to get over him and find someone who will love me for real.This stupid infatuation will only hurt me in the end.
I thought crushes were only for teenagers. I'm 32 and have had a crush on a guy for 3 years. Funny thing is, I'm too good for him. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I am. I have flown to see him a few times but he has never come to visit me (we live 4 hours apart by car). I thought he would be so easy to get, and he had written me letters that totally led me on and kept me hanging. I'm a bright, strong girl and feel so weak for having this feeling for him. Make a long story, he got a girl pregnant who used to follow his band around all the time. (He tried to hide it from me but I found out.) He was mean to her at first, then ended up being with her. I dropped him and told him to never contact me again. Now I want him to contact me but I refuse to reach out. He would never be with her if there wasn't a baby involved. I feel so crushed and hurt. I would never trap a guy like that. I just wish I could get over him. I don't know why it's so damn hard. It feels helpless and I don't even look at other guys and just want to forget about men altogether. I wish so much they made a pill for it.
I am SO glad I found this blog. I feel like I've been going mad.
I'm old enough to know better, but have developed a huge crush on a guy at work.
Nothing can come of it - we don't even work in the same city. Who am I kidding though? I'd move to where he lives in a heartbeat if I thought we'd get it on.
I was working in his office recently & felt so happy just hanging out with him. Since I've got home I've been terribly depressed.
I'm trying to get him out of my head by dating other guys. Easier said than done though.
Any advice?
Thats the good thing about a crush. I am the anonymous who usually post two posts at a time, have a crush on a guy half my age. I'm totally old enough to know better, but you know what, I haven't felt like a school girl in a long long time. Just see it as a way of being romantic without any of the usual risks, no fuss, no muss, you can run thru all of the probablities in your head, use him mercilessly in your fantasies, and use this crush to size up the "real" guys you are dating. My rule of thumb, if I don't like them 1% of how much I like my crush victim, they are not worth my time. Weeds out a lot of jerks!!!
true to form again, I am the anonymous from above, feelings are not facts, and actually we CAN change our minds. I have "un crushed" and re crushed on this guy. I just try not to show it. That's the hard part!
So I posted on this site a few months ago about a crush that I had met up with one night and he was kinda hot/cold towards me. Well, since that night there have been many developments. I was in town ago a little under two months ago. He invited a few girlfriends and I to his house party. We ended up hooking up. He initiated everything and he was not drunk. I stayed the night and everything, and I left town assuming that he liked me. We then met up a few times at the bars when I was in town a few weeks ago. He was nice but didn't initiate anything physically. The last night out with him, though, we got into a fight. I admitted my feelings for him (although he guessed by that point) and he told me he didn't like me. I was not his type because I wasn't "experienced" enough and too nice. He said he just hooked up with me because he was was drunk which is a lie. After a lot of contemplation, I came to the realization that he hooked up with me because he got angry that his best friend was hooking up with my best friend that night. I think he got jealous. I sent him a couple of messages afterwards and he didn't respond. I would have probably never seen him again either way because we live in different states now but still. A part of me is still hungry for him. I keep replaying my night with him in my head. It felt so right. I know that this is the best ending but I still am in a bit of a funk about it. I still wonder if he was genuine to me about his feelings. The best part was he came home and made a facebook status about how he thinks I feel about him which is just weird in my opinion. I keep wondering what it means. I find it hard to believe someone who doesn't care about someone would do that yet at the same time, maybe he just did it to piss me off. Who knows how he really feels. I hope that one day he comes to realize what he has lost. In the meantime, though, I really need to get over him. He is not worth it.
I am going to reiterate what previous posters have expressed – the complete relief I am feeling right now, knowing that other people go through what I am going through. Logically I know that what I feel is a crush, a common human emotion – albeit at the extreme end of what ‘crush’ can be classified as. But the problem is, it is a STRONG emotion and logic just doesn’t get a look in. So, as I am sure you have all experienced, I have felt adrift, alone and abnormal for obsessing over a boy for four years. On a whim I googled “how to get over a crush” (feeling stupid while doing so) tonight and I am so glad I did.
My story is like a number of others on here. I met him the first year of University, had very few conversations but just felt an incredibly strong magnetism. He’s attractive but not in a traditional way, just… really mysterious and compelling. We have a lot in common by way of interests and he certainly knows who I am. Over the years we have had classes together but I would just observe him (with my friends teasing me by my side). With the torture tool that is facebook, I have had a couple of chats about neutral school topics and -casebook reaction – been inordinately excited. Time, distance, other mini crushes have not dulled this constant for me.
I have never outright told him how I feel but I have given him plenty of chances to reciprocate in expressing an interest in getting to know each other better. Every time I think it will kick start something more and every time I end up checking my inbox nearly hourly for a continuation of our conversation beyond just the superficial. It never happens and I am heart broken.
I am not convinced that what I have read so far has offered a sure fire way to get over someone that you have invested so much of yourself in, because let’s face it, 90% is our own idealized projections. However, what it has done is alerted me to some things I need to address in myself before I can progress.
First and foremost, the biggest hurdle for me is that I don’t WANT to get over him. Destroying the illusion would not be too hard but it’s offered me so much solace over the years, it is nearly inconceivable to depart from it.
However I recently met a nice guy, genuinely good and steady. I could see myself being happy with him. I have never had a boyfriend, simply because I am a bit of a loner and prefer my own company most of the time. So the prospect of this new guy is fairly monumental. But … the feeling doesn’t come close to the reaction I get around my crush. I am SO angry at myself for not being able to see past that.
I can’t offer any help to you all but perhaps hearing my story (if you’ve read this far, in which case; well done you!) will help someone else to feel a little less abnormal, alone and helpless.
I live in the same house as my crush...but 1 problem!!...Hes nine years older than me! Hes told me that he likes me and loves my company but cant take it any further because hes scared of what people mite say. I think he only likes me because hes hoping 2 have sex with me which makes me feel horrilbe. Im trying to distance myself from him a bit but i always seem to want his attention. :(
I'm trying SO hard to get over this crush. I've liked him since the first day of spring semester. He walked in the first day in one of my Studio classes (We're both art majors.) and I fell for him. Hard.
We hang out at some of the same places and I finally got the courage to talk to him outside of class. He was so approachable and sweet. I started hanging out with his friends and subsequently with him and it turns out that we have some of the most intimate and strange things in common (for instance, we're the only two people we know our age that doesn't have grandparents.) It's a stupid example, but it's the most generic that I could think of right now.
Anyway, I tried my hand at flirting with him (I suck at flirting. It's something I have never been good at.) and to my surprise it worked! We started to hang out one on one more often, and one night after work I found a beautiful poem on my car from an old poetry book he had signed. I couldn't believe it! It meant so much to me (I still keep it with me almost all the time). I came from a really screwed up relationship a few months before. My ex was very selfish and had a drinking problem. He would humiliate and insult me in front of my friends and almost never did anything romantic without being prompted. So obviously, to be shown such a small but powerful token of affection was foreign to me. I had never been shown admiration that way before, and it just made me fall for him even more. We had a quasi-date the next evening where he cooked for me and we watched a movie. He sent me home with a mix cd full of sweet songs hinting at moving somewhere with our relationship. (Think "First Gear" by the Rapture and "Digital Love" by Daft Punk)
I was excited about it and gave him a cd in return with songs that basically gave him the green light as well, but in the following weeks he didn't call me, or make any effort to hang out with me. That really hurt.
I guess he just lost interest somewhere along the line, but It just kills me that I had him and that he just changed his mind or he decided that I wasn't what he wanted. I ended up calling him after we hung out one day and just asked him point blank if he was still interested at all. He said no, his reason being that he didn't want a relationship even though he liked me. He made it very plain that he thought I was a great person and that I'm someone he really wants to stay friends with. And while I want to be friends with him because of how interesting he is and how easy conversation is between us, I don't know if I can handle that because of how much I still like him.
I feel so pathetic! I keep deluding myself, thinking that he'll come around and want to be in a relationship with me if we just hang out more. I know it won't happen, but I just hope so very much that it does.
I feel like on some level we have to be together. I can't explain it. It's not even wishful thinking. I feel that given our interests and temperaments, we're just supposed to be together. I didn't have this feeling with my ex or anyone else I've dated. We just work on some level.
I feel like a crazy person. When I am being completely honest with myself, I realize that I just need to get over him before I fall for him anymore. I'll have classes with him next semester and I'll be seeing him daily this summer since we'll be living down the street from each other and I'm pretty close with his friends now. It will be hard, but despite my delusions of destined love I think I can do it.
To anyone else going through the hellaciousness that is unrequited love, you know by now that you're not alone. You'll get over this love either by dying of old age or by finding someone else. Somehow you will be granted peace.
Hey have any of you thought about a situation like mine: I started realizing a guy smiling at me and he was super sweet. We started talking to each other and I could tell he liked me so I fell in love with him. Then he had to leave about a month after we met. He said goodbye and I havnt seen him for a week. I can't take this painful grip he has on my heart. I feel like he's taken a piece of my heart with him.
I like my best friend ALOT (wouldn't neccessarily say love since its only highschool but whatever.) He knew when i first started liking him (5years ago) but I convinced everyone that I had gotten over him. Now i'm craving and longing for him, his teasing funny laid-back attitude... Everything. He just says he doesn't want to ruin our friendship. Which kills me because i'm torn between keeping a friendship or finaaly getting him to notice that i'm not just the girl nest door.. Worst part is... I haven't even had my first kiss so i'm craving that along with all this stuff. I wish he'd finally see... maybe our juior/senior year...
k, ive nevr done a blog thing b4, but here ii goes, maybe itll help. i met this guy at my sisters wedding, he goes to her church and is good friends with her husband. they live out of state soo... that sux. ne way, this guy is perfect (or so it seems) hes sweet(everyone says so), cute, plays giutar, sings, christian, cute (did i say that?) he added me on fbook an d now i cant stop looking at his prophile, i fell like a satalker (jk) but accordig to his info we have a lot in common. he likes the same music as me... but he lives like a billion lies away and i dont even know if he likes me. my sister said she could ask her husband to hook us up, but when sh etold him, he said that a lot of girls like him and its not worth it. wth does that mean? i wishi could just get over him. im soo distracted. we hav tlkd but hes nevr tlked to me bymyself ukno? ahhh!! im goin crazy! im way too self conncious to put myself out there and tellhim. wat if he doesnt like me? he prolly doesnt even notice me, im just another girl to him. boys suck. im 17 and hav nevr had a bf, or a kiss, or even a hug frm aguy thts not related to me!!! ahhh!! this is sooo pathetic, and childish. im just finding reasons to like him, i cant even think of anything bad about him! im pathetic,but well.. thts life.. it sux..ill get ovr it eventually rite? lets hope so.
So it's been a few months since I have posted and I just wanted to give an update. It's interesting. I look over my few prior posts and think about far I have come from the first one. From wondering whether my crush actually likes me to hooking up with him and then to realizing how incredibly crazy the whole situation was. However, I still think about him. Not as strongly as before. The old adage about time making things easier and less painful is partially true. When my crush told me that he essentially just wanted me for a hookup, it hurt so badly. For the next two months, I felt like I was in a rut. Just the memory of us hooking up hurt so bad that it literally took my breath away. I thought about it constantly. It was rough. However, now that a few months have passed, it has gotten easier so for all those suffering from unrequited love, I am here to say that it sucks. Even if you and your crush hookup or whatever, that is not the solution to the problem. You will still want him/her. However, unrequited love does get a bit easier with time. I wonder if I will ever truly get over him? Maybe not. However, I am glad to know that there are others in similar situations. What causes these feelings? Is it that the object of our affection is in our mind the "ideal mate" for us? I think so and that is why it is so hard for us to let go. However, we must keep searching.
I so understand your feeling, i am crushing over a guy for 3 long years and i am not even sure if he really knows i exist or not. i am completely confident and cool headed person and my friends tell me that i am an extrovert. but everytime the guy in question is near, talking to some one else or in plain sight i totally become a stupid, my reaction to his presence is rediculous and i would have laughed out loud if it didn't cause me such trauma.
You know what i googled just now? i googled how to get over a crush, thats how badly i want to get over this thing i am tolerating for last 3 years, i have come to a point where i don't want this anymore. i wish there were some potion or enchantation that would save me all the helpless heart ache.
I loved your post. and yeah, unrequited love series is the most cruel form of heart ache i think, or maybe i am overly sensitive....
been crushing on a guy for 5 years now. he'll never hear about it directly from me. if i told him it would destroy everything because we work together. he probably knows. he's not stupid. but i refuse to embarrass him. and there he sits in the next room, probably wondering what to do about this odd woman who can't think straight when she's close to him. i'm 42. it never ends.
I was crushing on a girl for over a year now, I knew that she didn't share the same feelings for me, but I was hoping that a trip with our friends would change it all.
Needless to say, it didn't work out, she got with another and I was crushed; mostly my fault, I had some control over the situation.
I was severly deppressed the we got back and the next, to the point I sent a declaration of my crush text to her.
Her reply was it, "Just as I can't change how I feel."
That helped me alot and with that knowledge I felt an emotional release that can only lead me to the path of getting over it.
I've had a crush on someone I have known for 22 years (super pathetic, I know). We went to school together and our brothers are good friends. I have practically met every girlfriend he has ever dated and he's met my now ex-husband. I am now 34 years old and I still get that fluttery feeling when I see him or someone mentions his name. I have never told him how I feel because I am quite sure he doesn't feel the same way about me. He's never shown any interest in me which is why I don't understand why I masochistically still like him. I know that I will forget him when I find the right guy. In the meantime I just try to distract myself with getting on with my life.
I know how you feel too.
I've liked a guy for almost a year now and can't seem to get over it. We used to "like eachother" but then he decided he didn't like me anymore. So, I pretended not to like him anymore either. Now we're close friends and he always tells me who he likes and asks for advice. Then he always asks who I like, to which I say no one. Eveytime.
We get along so well and talk all the time. Now I know I might not be the standard "hot" or anything, but I'm decently thin and thought I was okay looking. I'm tall but only around 5 foot 9 or so. Sometimes guys are just too confusing.
I just started grad school and so our class is pretty small. At first I didnt notice him and then it happened...I became very interested. I was planning on just flirting and having a little fun, since im in a relationship. But what happened was a total backfire and now im suffering as a result. On the weekend there was a huge grad school party and i "kind of" hooked up with him. I could not control myself, I wanted to be near him. We slept on the same bed, but nothing happened...he didnt even kiss me. Oh well. Next day i went home. He didnt do anything to follow up and now im ignored by him and he's going after a few other girls. This is mental, because i now am infatuated and cant help it. He told me to get over it and just relax. That hurt like a mother@#$...Its sad really.
ok, advice time. DO NOT HOOK UP WITH YOUR CRUSH!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!! keep it platonic if there is no chance of dating, or just date if you are lucky.
Hooking up is the worst thing. You lose respect for yourself and you destroy your fantasy world, because you actually thought that he is interested back and then it ends up that he is not even that interested after he found out. He just used you for a little fun. Now he knows about your feelings, knows that you are "easy" to get and will never ever consider dating you. So just keep fantasizing and dream of the day you meet him privately, because its much for fun to do that than to sit at home and criticize your poor decisions and his complete lack of interest in you. UUUGH
I feel so sick tonite, I found your blog entry and I"m sad to say I'm in a very similar boat (I'm a guy). I liked this married woman for an entire year and had lunch with her regualarly always keeping my distance in regards to romantic notions. But when she divorced I realized I couldn't be her "close friend" as she'd been pressuring me to be, after-all she tried telling me about other men she was screwing. So I basically ended the relations we'd had. I feel like I wasted an entire year with this person, and it's all the more sickening since she did comment quite often on things like "it feels more real when I'm with you"; "I don't know why I'm telling you this I just feel like I can talk to you"; "somethings not right" (our lunch ending) and much more. How she'd go screw random guys if she ever felt like that toward me is a mystery, I realize I'm undatable or was to her anyway. I feel like throwing up :( It's been around 2 weeks since I saw her.
I'm a woman who has a deep crush on a co-worker who is a woman. I really have strong feelings for her, however, she is married to a very possessive man,who is very insecure. As a result, i think that she has reached out to me out of desperation. We have become very close, and I am attracted to her. I'm not sure how she feels about me, but I know she desires to be with me every chance that she get's. I really do not know how to handle this siuation. I think she has deep feelings for me too, but I do not think she will ever confess to this because of her culture and background. What should I do? Should I walk away, or should I ignore my feelings, or should I talk to her about my feelings? This is very hard for me, any suggestions or thoughts?
I guess, I guess I'm in the opposite boat to what you guys are all in. In which, my friend is the one in love with me and I just don't really feel the same way.
We were in the same class all last year and never once spoke, but then this year he became friends with one of my friends and it was the spark that lit the candle that set us all on fire.
We talked everyday from then on. From insanely long conversations on msn to ridiculous amounts of texting each other; we were just always talking. And possibly flirting while we were at it. At that time, I was dating someone, but after a while I broke up with him because he was very verbally abusive and would always blame me for everything, and got jealous so easily.
My friend was always there for me, telling me that I deserved so much better, and wondering why I even tried to remain friends with my ex.
And over the months we continued to talk and flirt, albeit, I didn't really know I was flirting with him - it was just the way i acted around him.
Eventually everyone around us caught onto the fact that he liked me, except for me. It took some of his friends and my friends actually straight out telling me he liked me for me to even see it.
All our friends didn't want us to "separate the group" so they made me tell him I wasn't looking for a relationship. It took me 2 weeks and 17 attempts for me to finally spit it out and tell him that.
We talked it over though, and after a few awkward hours, we were back to normal, talking continuously.
He asked me out later on. Just to make sure there was no hope. I told him all the reasons why. Mainly - I didn't really know what it was like to like someone, and I didn't want to date him and then just dump him because I realise I didn't like him like that and hurt him by giving him hope. We got over it, and moved on.
After months and months, he told me he loved me. He wasn't even close to getting over me. If anything, things had gotten worse. he told me he'd had a crush on me practically since when we'd first met the year before, even though we never talked to another.
The week previously he'd been acting really strange, saying he was "thinking about certain things". He told me he had a friend who was hurting him, though he didn't really know what they were doing to hurt him. He also told me that he'd been spending hours crying and kept feeling pain in his chest. It never once crossed my mind that I was the one hurting him.
After he told me he loved me, and I told him I couldn't return his feelings, we talked about what we wanted to happen. We liked the way things were really, and I guess, in my selfishness and his love for me, we didn't want things to change between us; we still wanted to talk continuously and we didn't want to be awkward.
Things did become awkward for a day or two, and once again, we got over it and moved on... or so I thought.
He really wasn't getting over me. And only yesterday, it hit him that he couldn't have me.
And now, now we don't know what to do, he doesn't really want me to give him space, and I don't want to lose him as a friend.
I know it's selfish, but i love to talk to him and I don't want to lose him, but I want what's best for him, though we can't really figure out what that is right now.
Currently, he's angry at me, for all the time he spent over me when he couldn't have me, but he can't be angry with me, so he's angry at himself and he hates himself. He hates himself enough to almost cut himself over it. And now i'm worried and petrified over what he's thinking of doing to himself.
And we're trying to be normal.
But I'm not sure it'll work this time...
He's one of my best friends. And I hate this part right here so much.
This blog is probably pretty old but I thought that i would share my story. So I'm a junior in high school with no big knowlegde on boys, that was until the summer of my junior year. So this friend hooked me and her best friend up, I had never had my first kiss, let alone had a guy interested in me longer than to answer a question or to help with homework. So after the guy met me and kissed me I thougt we clicked alright. Wasn't fireworks or I didn't notice anyway because I was too nevous about the kiss. Anyway, the guy and I hung out a couple more times and the time before last, I kinda made a stupid move and allowed him to hit second base, but the thing is at the time I didn't have feelings for him like I do/ did. And I believe that I still slightly do have a crush on him. I've told him that I want him and I to do more, maybe even cross the line of being bf and gf, but it's pretty obvious, from body language that he's not interested in me anymore or ever was. But it gets so hard to know where you stand at with a guy when you text him and he never replies back or doesn't reject you when your lookng for the rejection. Anyone have any ideas as to how I should ask him? Or get over him?
Thanks for writting this blog. Really, i am going through this right now. Only before the crush we had four years of friendship so i never said anything but this summer we were on vacation and we up late talking and he said to me, "There isn't anyone that i would even consider starting a relationship with" OUCH. However i am grateful because although it sucks and i was crushing on him for over a year i was spared the terrible convo...i've done that too many times to count. I hate the line that starts "You're a great girl but..."
Thanks for your honesty!
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