List

it started with an article in a magazine that i had sent to my home religiously every month. for some, they refer to it as their "bible," for me it was another guide into all the expensive things i will never have the desire to get in my life. we call this magazine, oprah. the most appealing part of this issue was the article titled "the love list." it was about a woman who was so distraught by the idea of love that a friend recommended she seek out a clarivoyant. the woman was told that in order for her to get what she desired she was to write a list of what you wanted. the list was to be 100 items long specifying exactly what she wanted in her love. 100?!!! that was a lot to think about. it was also an interesting challange to a person like me. i pulled out my pen and paper and began to write.

the list ended at 96 items and a month later. this wasn't something i wanted to speed through and take lightly. i wrote down everything. his favorite color, height to the number of languages he could speak. yes, he is a well educated man ladies and gentlemen. not the ruff neck brothers we were taught to drool over. the list was then placed in a journal and forgotten. there came a day that the list proved true. out of the 96 items 91 were dead on. made me wonder what would have happened if i had done the full 100. but it wasnt about the list coming true. the problem that surfaced was that i was so busy writing this list of this perfect person that i forgot about the most important thing in my life. me. i was so consumed by the idea of creating someone who i wanted that i forgot to take the time out and get myself ready for the gift i have been given.

now i have sat down to the drawing board again and started to master the list that will change my life. my hopes and dreams. the things i need to cut away from my life that dont work. writing down the challenging details that will shape me into the person that god longs for me to be. i welcome this list. i know that it is something that will exceed the notion of 100 things that will make me into a better person. 100 is only the surface. everyday is an attempt to live at the next 100. soon i will run out of space and will be able to see something that i could have never imagined. a whole person instead of pieces of a puzzle.