a work in progress - untitled

Teach me how to box my emotions inside
Multicolored cubes
Then shuffle it
For people to get mad and peel away the pieces
Leaving them black void emotionless
I want to be the one to hide
Laughing at the people’s inability to figure me out
Mind if I call you jack in the box
Popping out at the drop of break beats
Cant beat out the box for this one
No
I got foresight
Insight
But mercury must have been in retrograde when I met you
Didn’t know you were going to be another one to call me friend
Thought we had a common thread so we could sew our roots
Giving birth to poetry that only sounded good backed up with you
I was looking for someone to have my back
Touch my back
Kiss me on the back of neck
Then I would listen to you talk about back in the day when you were a kid
But we not kids anymore
We grown folks
I just wanted to memorize your life story so it could be mine

“I used to save my lunch money to buy records
$8.00 it would total
Then I would ride on my bike to the shop to pick out the new vinyl”

See how that sounded so real
Isn’t that what hip hop is
Real
Isnt that what you fell in love with
real
I thought hip hop was me
real
Thought hip hop was we
real
Must have gotten my frequencies crossed with that new pop fake
Gotta tell you the truth
My phone was full of messages I saved
Because you beat boxed my name
And my heart would up-rock to it every time
Thought it was infatuation
But then you would reveal a new side to me
And all I could think was how DOPE and FRESH you are
Yeah I wrote your name
In cursive
In print
In graffiti
Didn’t write nothing else
Couldn’t write nothing else
Found myself waiting for your call
Like clockwork 8:45
And we would talk till 1 in the a.m.
About our feelings
But that would get only a 10 minute set
The headliner was music
And I didn’t mind
I was talking to you
See you blew my mind
Cant help to admit you still do
Wish I did the same for you
And maybe I did for those few seconds
Because listening requires commitment
And I wasn’t worthy of your time
Didn’t want to throw you off beat
Because the time signature of running away from your feelings
Is a tricky one
I didn’t want to write this poem
Because it would mean that you were never into me
And I have to get over you





Here is where I would curse
And find myself right back where I started from

mama a.free.ka copyright 2006